一字一句 都写到心坎里去了

剛到手的時候疼人家到骨子裡去，每天給她打十幾通電話，傳幾十條訊息，她說什麼你都銘記在心，想吃什麼、想買什麼、想去哪裡你都會盡全力去滿足，溫柔體貼無微不至，巴不得二十四個小時都能跟她呆在一起；一開始總是包容的，就算她的生活習慣與你不同也會努力的調試配合，一切一切都是美好的……

久了，膩了！每天別說幾十通電話，就連1通電話都懶得打，打電話時只說具體情況，把那些覺得無關要緊的「情趣」話都省了；訊息就更不用說了，她傳10條你回有一半你就覺得你回的已經夠多了，就連她打電話給你你都覺得她囉嗦！

你不會再為她想吃早點而早早起床，你不會再為她排隊買她想要東西，你不會特意請假帶她去她想去的地方，你會覺得她什麼事都依賴著你，讓你覺得她麻煩。

接著你會發現她的缺點越來越多，她的優點快被她的缺點掩蓋，你快忍無可忍！最後，厭了！瀟灑的用「分手吧！」一句簡單的言語結束了複雜的感情；或耗著等著，直到有一天她受不了忽冷忽熱或若即若離的態度自己選擇離開，你還可以說是她自己離你而去，你沒有負心……

男人，你記不記得你曾經說過：「我永遠都會對你這麼好，一輩子都這樣愛著你寵著你！」

不是她麻煩，是你一開始就說得做得太到位，才會讓她依賴上你！你記不記得你曾經說過：「不管多晚，睡不著都可以打電話給我，我的手機24小時都為你開機！」

那你又嫌她不體貼，白天工作的時候打電話打擾到你，辛苦了一天晚上要睡覺了她還纏著你不肯掛線。是誰讓她養成何時何地想打電話給你就打電話給你的習慣？

她無理取鬧。
那是因為從某一個時間段你的態度變了，你開始冷落她了；讓她覺得沒了安全感，由使她起疑心！不是她不信任你，不給你空間，而是她愛你，在乎你，用盡所有時間去關心你，你的生活細微改變都牽扯著她的情緒！

她脾氣不好。
那是因為她有很多時候知道了很多事情，但你不說，她都選擇沉默，在一直沉默；積壓到一定的時間她們就會爆發心中的所有怨氣；要知道，這一些都不是她脾氣不好，是你不夠細心發覺，她們是一直積壓下來的！

她不再跟以前一樣動人。
當初是誰說不喜歡她像只花蝴蝶，是誰說喜歡她素顏的清純模樣？雖說喜新厭舊是人性，除了古董以外，什麼東西看久了都會審美疲勞；但她不是東西，她是個活生生有著感情的人！

你不再給她答案，不再給她承諾，不希望你以後做不到讓這些答案跟承諾變成謊言！
那你以前又給她那麼多答案，給她那麼多承諾，現在為自己鋪好後路可以前承諾過的叫她怎麼忘記？女人不怕諾言沒實現，怕的是你承諾了又不去實現，最後實不實現是另一個問題！

你忙，你沒時間沒精力討好她，你不知道她現在在想什麼？
那你以前不忙嗎？你以前是不是就把全部時間用來討好她而不用工作？那你以前怎麼都那麼細心觀察她在想什麼？

你覺得你們不配，你不想她再浪費感情在這段沒結果的愛情上。那你一開始追她幹嘛？做實驗啊？她都已經浪費這麼多感情了，你當感情是水龍頭啊，說開就開說關就關！對，這一切都是你給自己找的藉口！別以為換個女朋友就可以永遠擺脫那種感情暗淡時期，因為不久的將來你還是得回到這種時光，下個女朋友也是，下下個女朋友也是，下下下個女朋友也是，有種你一輩子不談戀愛不結婚……

男人們，看完了回想一下你們的那段美好時光，趁現在沒有人偷偷想想是不是你們給自己找藉口了？那個以前深愛的女人現在就那麼不值得你愛了麼？別說你瞎了狗眼以前才會跟她在一起，因為你沒瞎，也請不要侮辱到狗！後悔分手的趕快努力從新追回來，以後用心經營著共有的感情！其實女人要的很簡單，只想要一個愛自己男人就夠了……想要分手的考慮清楚，並不是每段感情都可以挽回的！考慮太久也不行，因為她們可以忍耐你冷落她一段時間，但不會一輩子傻下去；她們再怎麼傻，也會給自己一個時間段，去忍受你的冷落，去相信你的愛；但時間一到，她們會毫不猶豫的離開，到那時再多的甜言蜜語都沒有用了，因為這世界上沒有誰離開誰就活不了！

戀愛中的，好好珍惜現在那個願意照顧你，體諒你，願意陪你承擔風雨的傻女人吧！過了這個村，或許就沒這個店了；該結婚的就結婚吧，不要再拖拖拉拉婆婆媽媽；結婚證一領就像買了保險，至少心裡都有底了……

愛情，就像煮粥，滾燙的時候加點配料它就是夠火候又有滋有味的；等到忘記關火煮焦了的時候，你聞都不想聞它甚至你連鍋都想把它扔了……看好你的火吧。

deadline

yes, there is nothing like approaching deadline could give you the motivation! 3 more days left to submit my paper which also means wooray to my summer holiday! jia you jia you!

no title

surprisingly my trip has stirred up a lot of respects and envies. the most likes i ever had in my facebook. 200!
wanted to blog about it but sigh, i am being so lazy or perhaps no motivation to write.

feeling incredibly emotional these few days especially when talking to someone. someone that once used to so close with me and the way he talks now nearly kill me. every single word is HURT. i am not sure what made him changed or maybe it's a guy nature where they reveal the real them after all.

trying to keep some distance particularly for our own good. i personally don;t feel like giving up but i have no idea what's running in his mind. was so headache with this problem and also my assignments and works. but thanks GOD who always treated me so good (give me more than i deserved!) that i have finally get a full time job offer start from next week. so no worries on my bank account and can fully concentrate on my studies.

guess this is what we say "when God closes a door, somewhere he open a window for you".

photo taken in amsterdam, Netherland.

I can't tell which one is doing worse my assignments, my love life, or my bank account

video for me?

I was like BBQ WTF is Jinny Boy made this video for me? The story line is exactly the same with what's going on me! Yes, i booked a flight ticket last few days for my "self-discovery journey". they said i'm insane to travel alone to other country but i just need a break, a temporary distract from anyone! i was like oh my Jesus when watching the clip until the last part (8.21) mins. yes luckily i watched till the end and guess what, the ending gave me a big shock? is the video still reflecting me after the 8 mins? only one can answer. BBQ   

告别堕落

好吧，天堂般的生活式也应该告一段落了吧.

4月份的英国。我和一班同乡都混熟了，也多了一位姐姐。迟些再介绍大家吧。然后中文也神速般的进步，英文却讲得伴桶水。然后啤酒当开水喝，扑克牌的玩意，然后凌晨入眠，然后时不时再来个大餐聚会，简直是富二代的生活呀。

我感恩一切的一切都来得对时间了，因为他们把快乐带给我，在我最需要的时候。就这样我熬了过来。

迈入5月。我突然又醒了，我知道一切只是过渡期，这天堂般的生活并不是我现在想要的。我还得朝梦想前进。

好吧，天堂般的生活式也应该告一段落了吧。

stupid me

I've learned

1. Never ever believe someone by their words!
2. Think twice before any action.

Yes now my glasses drop and my life full of regrets, if only time can turn back.

 

another sunny day!

ahhh. guess what? i'm feeling so guilty. of what? of over drinking, outing, spending, over enjoying too much fun until i'm getting this kinda feeling. something wrong with me? :'(

yes. especially when i not even read a sentence of book in the whole week, when i get tipsy, when i nearly puke, when i had a meal that cost me 30 pounds when i heard my friends around me said that they failed again for this and that subject. bbq. i feel so ashamed and  dare not to think of my parent. how they feel if they know i'm jolly kuat here.

but by doing all these only i feel good. at least i wouldn't get depress and hide in my room with tears and feeling lonely. my problem is yet to be solve, i've no idea what can i do to save this relationship. i pretend that i'm not care, i pretend that i'm strong enough to handle, actually i'm just running off from it.

anyway, here again me and my friend out to enjoy the wonderful day. never knew that i am actually love the sun. so much!

photo are all no filter. surprisingly i didn't look so bloated as in previous post. (:

with the right pose, your leg will magically look longer! and here, mine look so long. hahaha

the blue-est sky! 

it's MAY soon! omg! i pray for time passes slooooooooow please! i gonna miss u THE UK!

it's spring now

An outing with a bunch of lovely friends as a perfect ending for my holiday! Fantastic weather out there so i decided to bring my camera out and they came out this photo shoot idea in a private field and enjoy the sun!

so yeah, this is me with the rounded face and fatty tight! yes, i gained weight. bbq bbq

it was still windy so i had to keep my hand in the pocket to keep them warm. love this shoot anyway. 

the failed jump shot #1

 failed #2

failed #3 simply because i don;t know what mode to set when capture this kind of photo. cincai la. just jump and click. so it turned up like this.

yes, she is a dancer! beautiful face she has and a perfect body figure. sipek jealous neh.

fake dancer. hahaha

 we should have bring our sandwich and picnic and sun bathing there. very lou tou pose i know. hehe

they made me feel so young! i am such a happy person when mixing with the people who has positive energy. chose a right friend is indeed important (:

lose focus. how to take selfie with dslr? ahaha

我们不会翻跟斗，只好当背景

不会翻 又死命要入镜，只好当死人。够抢镜吧 

the left hand side one dropped from the sky. hahaha. so cute right

就算电话响也不出镜.hahaha

just another random thought after the outing. in my life of 25, i've had met a lot of people, some would be so important to me but some could just be a passer by. but whoever appear, whether to help me to harm to love me to hate me   *touch woods* i have no hater anyway, i believe they are sent by GOD for some reason. and i will meet all them with a peaceful heart and appreciate what i am having now. i am blessed. 

holiday with no holiday mood

my 3 weeks holiday is coming to an end soon. holy crap. for the first time, i wish i could fast forward and go back to class asap. oh, don't get me wrong, i am not a hardworking student just i am too boring here. some more recently some one has hit me down.deep down that kind. i never thought we would came into this situation and it is still remain unsolved. i admit it's my fault took him for granted. me wrong. sigh.

photo in uni before my holiday. this is my groupmate from Jordan and Vietnam. Quite handsome la the vietnamese and good to have him in our group. such a smart and hardworking guy.

 

Tom Yam Bee Hun

Tom Yam is always my favorite flavor, anything either tom yam rice/beehun/soup/maggie whatever with tomyam flavor always my first choice and i am sure will finish all. and of course, i brought tomyam paste here from Malaysia. but it last for 3 months only. finished dy. T___T. anyway, i still can get it in the asian store here. (:
back to topic, tom yam bee hun for today but eh, this fried bee hun looks so easy just put in pan and fry fry fry. but neh, it isn't easy as u thought! i failed for several times due to the sticky bee hun and today abit lucky it is eatable! happily spin with my apron on.

Ingredient:
200g bee hun (rice-vermicelli)
1 egg
1/3 carrots (cut into fine, thin strips)
3 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 tsp vegetable oil
1/2 tsp oyster oil

1/2 cup water
1-2 mushroom
1/3 sugar/salt (i didn't use)
3 tsp tomyam paste

additional: u can add prawn or pork minced. it is costly here so i am more to vegetarian now.

Method:
1. Soak the bee hun for about 15mins with water. Dry it before use. 
2. Chop garlic, carrots strips, mushroom and put aside.
3. Heat vegetable oil in wok add in beaten egg to make Omelette. remove the omelette and cut into small strips and set aside
4. Heat vegetable oil in wok and add in the ingredients in step 2, fry till fragrant on medium heat.
5. Add in 1/2 cup water, tom yum paste, turn to high heat and bring to boil.
6. Add oyster sauce and sugar to taste.(at this point adjust the taste according to your own preference, if you prefer to be spicier add more tom yum paste, if it is too salty or sour add sugar to balance the taste instead of keep adding water). 

7. Add in the softened bee hun.

8. Use fork or chopstick to loosen the mix, fry the bee hun. turn to medium heat and keep doing to prevent the sticky bee hun. cook until the liquid totally absorbed by the bee hun.

And awwww. yummeh!  

Cream Puff

So you know you are getting old when you started to spend more time in kitchen instead of facebooking or outing. Sigh, it is a sign of aging when i am kinda into kitchen nowadays.
My third bake in the UK today after egg waffle and conflakes snack. Tried to get some simple recipe and got this cream puff's recipe. It is really easy for noobie beginner like me.

Again, photo not in good quality coz of my photography skill sucks and I wasn't took it serious. Another reason is my hand get quite oily when so i don't feel like touch on my camera.

Ingredient:
Group A (pastry crust):
50g butter
85ml water
1/4 tsp sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
50g bread flour
20g cake flour (i used plain flour and cornstratch)
2 eggs lightly beaten.

Group B (Custard cream):
240ml milk
5tsp sugar ( i reduce to 1tsp not sweet at all maybe 3-4 will do)
1/2 tsp vanila extract
1 full egg and 2 egg yolks
2tbp cornstarch

Method:
1. cook water, butter, sugar, vanila extract and put a pinch of salt in a non-stick pan until bubbling hot and turn the heat to low. i accidentally put 100g of butter due to the bad mathematic (don't know how to read on scale) and it turned up so watery. anyway, i succeed in second attempt)

2. mix bread flour and cake flour before pour into the pan. stir with a wooden spoon until dough is formed.

3. still at low heat, continue cook the dough for 1-2 mins.
4. transfer dough into a mixing bowl and beat until lukewarm.
5. add the 2 eggs and mix until well blended and smooth. you can use electric whisk if u have.

 6. place the batter into pipping bag and pipe into a line pan. spray some water on it. ( i use sandwich bag and cut a hole at the corner and pipe it out). so damn creative right. hahaha

 7. bake in a preheat oven of 200 degree celcius for 20 mins and 180 celcius for 8-10 mins. immediately turn off after that but don't take it out. leave it for 10 mins or more before  take out.

8. now the custard part. mix 60ml milk with cornstarch until smooth. 

9. add beaten egg and egg york with cornstarch mixture and mix well.

10. boil the remaining 180ml milk with sugar and mix well into a non-stick saucepan until bubbling hot. pour some hot milk into the mixture in step 9 and continue stirring.

11. pour the egg-cornstarch mixture (step 9) through a strainer back into the rest of the boiling milk. stir constantly until the it becomes thicken at medium heat. 

12. wrap the custard with a layer of clingwrap before send it to fridge for ready use. this is to prevent a hard film forming on the custard. 

13. cut the puff and insert the cold custard and send to mouth!

so yay, despite the wrong measurement on butter, it actually turned not bad and really easy la. i would try durian flavor when i back in malaysia next time. love durian puff so much especially the one keep cold in fridge one. hehe. 

The UK - York

My prep course ended last week and i've had 3 weeks off before my MBA start. so yay, HOLIDAY!
Initially i planned to go Bath and Stonehenge with coursemates (vietnamese gang) but they decided not to go at very last minutes. I was quite upset and unhappy cause i'd planned everything included the itinerary, hostel, budget and everything. so fine. i changed the plan and all of a sudden York appeared in my mind.
checked on train ticket - affordable
checked on attractions - quite a lot
checked on hostel - not bad
Lastly, checked on bank account. hahaha

Not forget to mention my travel mate, my coursemate, a pretty lady from Laos. She is an easy going person as she never asked anything before the trip but just help her book everything and she will pay me. BBQ.
And my 3 days 2 nights trip basically was free and easy.
" A real traveler has no plan."
Sounds cool right. BBQ. the main reason is I am too lazy to plan out everything and i'd too limited time. the only thing i did was searched on the must-go-places. and try to get those brochures when arrive in York.

Here we go! As usual, ran to platform and boarded into train ON TIME! UK's train depart 40 seconds after the departure time. damn chun one ok. pheeeww.

25 - Mac -2014 Chester to York (change train at Manchester Picadily)
27- Mac - 2014 York to Chester (have to transit too)

The poser. 

Killing time in the train

After 2 hours and finally, hello York!

YHA Hostel - I am satisfied with this hostel compare to those i stayed in London. It's quite new and very very clean. The most important is the staffs are very helpful and friendly. I read the review before I booked and they actually received very good feedbacks from guests except for their breakfast which is not worth. So, smart la me i bring my own bread. hehehe. 

Female dorm with own bathroom, 15 pounds per night and only us in the room at second night. hehehe

The lobby. 

Self-catering. The kitchen's equipment are clean and full-set. 

Went for food-hunting after checked in and accidentally found this restaurant/pub.

Cozy environment

Best food! Cheese pasta with bacon and garlic bread. Sorry, my camera lost focus or perhaps my photography skills sucks. argh

 This is not a normal wholewheat bread ok. It is beef sandwich. super duper yum!

me and the food!

Time to explore the city!

York Minster. one of the world's magnificent cathedrals. 

Behind

Front view

Side view

The street

Found her name on bookmark. Julie

 Disney shop! I want to have daughter next time so i can buy her all these dolls. 

Me and doll

 Selfie with mirror.

York has at least 3 bridges. I am not sure so please google and found out why. maybe it is surrounds by river or something. 

Walked until the sky turned dark

Another bridge

Nightview. #nofilter

Nightview 2

Day 2: had breakie in room and starbucks for drinks. wanted to go country side where most of the attractions are there (especially lavender field) but after done preparing was almost 1pm. T____T

Her chocolate and my caramel frappucino. not good! 

puffy face due to water retention maybe? ok la. i gained weight. :(

 went for shopping and went back to the same restaurant for lunch again! chicken with bbq source and tequila wrap. yum yum yum

sausage and mash potatoes

her

us

Clifford towel

The famous tea room in Yorkshire! Betty's tea room! First time i saw ang mo queuing for foods. hence we decided to join the queue too! it turned up didn't disappoint us! and i got my favorite macaron! not sweet and affordable price! 1.2 pound each!  

fattening hi-tea! 

Night club only two of us. one apple sourz and cocktail for each. 

free show on dance floor

skipped dinner as we were too full but had a sinful supper. Julie cooked egg noodle with sadin. 

day 3 meals before heading back to Chester. Chinese food! Roasted duck with cha xiu, ma po toufu and seafood udon noodle! expensive! three of these 25 pounds!

Here end the 3 days 2 nights trip in Yorkshire. So basically it is a historical city not much difference with Chester but bigger and more shoplots. The city also full of tourist and students especially Asians, i met a Chinese in every 3 steps. not exaggerate but it's true and chinese restaurant quite a lot too. anyway, i think the huge population of chinese almost cover quarter of the uk. anyway, i had a relaxing trip but i don't think "no plan" is a good plan coz it is such a waste when i was there but didn't get to go the places i wanted just because i missed the time and bus. next time, should have plan and go flexible with the plan.